the higher the hair, the closer to God.

ok. so, i can't not discuss this.

if you have ever met me in real life, you would probably be quick to realize that one of my best friends just so happens to be a teasing comb. i'm from the south, for crying out loud, we do big hair. it's kind of a right of passage to be a southern teenager, learn the art of the teasing comb. embrace it. love it. and, i do love big hair.

however, there were a crew of girls at ASU that unmistankenly owned a teasing comb and were versed in creating a rats nest on top of their terrible little heads.... you know those girls, they weren't just at ASU my freshman and sophomore years - they're everywhere. those with the huge hair that looks like a rabid rat ran around up there and just plopped down and went to sleep? they must have missed the final step of - smooth-it-over-the-rats-nest-to-appear-to-be-voluminous-without-completely-giving-away-your-not-so-secret-secret.

it basically looks like this - all the time. whoa, nelly. imma need you to tame that mess!

but, most importantly can we please discuss this....

seriously, folks. i literally cannot find words to describe how much this makes me laugh. did they finally realized that the 80s style banana comb was an unattractive 'do. they had a bunch of them left over and decided to vamp them up into a BUMPIT?

i'm so confused.

• how does it work? do you gingerly walk around like you have a tiara on your head for fear it might fall out/off?


• is it like a toupee? you hope that noone actually touches your head and the wind doesn't blow in just the right direction where the flap covering your not-so-concealed Bumpit might be exposed?


• oh, and i'm glad that they had a great marketing team that said, "we need them to match all hair colors!" 4 colors. if it's such a good product, one wouldn't need a matchy matchy hair piece.
  
• how did they come up with the name "Bumpit"? i thought bumps were those things that were secretly done in bathrooms at night clubs.... did they mean Pump it? i don't understand...


• ok, Mrs. Kentucky America, i no longer claim you girls as southerners. read her testimonial - they even have testimonials on thier website!! might i point out, mrs. kentucky is the only southerner on there that admits to using this fine product - the rest are from california, figures.

Oh, and let's not forget the mini-me, step-child version of the Bumpit. It creates hairstyles like this....

where is it? what is it doing?

Ah, must be the blond/brown/hi lighted colored one that matches so perfectly you can't see it.

do you think palin uses a Bumpit?

i mean, how can you not get a kick out of this? it's only the most hysterical "as seen on TV" item i've seen in a long time....