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how old am i? 26, creeping slowly on 27.
over the past few years, i have been working on a few things to improve my life. eating better. exercising. getting my grill fixed. you know, basic i'm-getting-older maintenance. and no, i have not resorted to botox or facelifts - yet. just kidding.
i'm not vain in thinking that i'm the hottest chick on the street or feel like i'm davidson county's trophy wife. nope. i just like to feel half way decent in the skin i'm in and be ok with me. we're getting there.
among these said items, i've been in a battle with my face. i'm 26 years old for crying out loud. i'm too old for acne. right? no.... oh. right. i'm not, apparently.
my face and i have been in a battle for a long 15 or so years. up until now, my splotchy, acne-infested face was winning. mauri -0, face - 1. i have felt defeated. kind of like being anyone on the other side of the court in wimbledon against either of the william's sisters. that defeated.
i had tried several different dermatologists, 100s of dollars worth of face washes, creams, prescriptions, junk that bleached my wash cloths, glycol peels ... everything.
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. i was going insane and felt destined to live the rest of my life donning the face of a pubescent pissed off female.
i don't like to play games that i'm not good at. i don't participate in activities where i think i'll fall dead last. i'm competitive. so, the fact that my face was winning - and i'm creeping up on 27 - and still annoying me with blemishes, i decided that i was in control and to fight this pubescent face with all that it took.
dr. retief has been my coach in this war against my face and she's a darn good one.
dr. retief said "have you heard of accutane?" *gasp*
i had, in fact, heard of this medicine. that's that medicine that you have to have your blood drawn every month - could possibly make you depressed - become uninterested in activities you once enjoyed - could possibly effect your liver functions (thus bloodwork) - have to fill out 3 forests worth of paperwork to actually get started - have to come in every month for a check up - have to use 2 forms of birth control - can't get pregnant because your baby will have learning disabilities and a cone head and small ears that are near its neck - muscle aches and joint pain - skin that molts like a snake - your lips basically peel all the way off - you can't get in the sun or you'll blister like you've touched a hot skillet - and possible memory loss and concentration issues.
minor side effects. yes, minor................
of all of these, my biggest hesitation was the come-in-and-get-your-blood-drawn-every-month.
i HATE needles. like - i've only had 2 shots since my booster shots when i was a baby. i had only had my blood drawn one time prior to this accuatane conversation. thankfully, i'm a fairly healthy lady because needles and i don't play well with each other.
but, as much as i hate needles and the thought of having my blood drawn every month for 6 months during "treatment" - i hated my pubescent face more.
since january, i have been on the accutane treatment plan in a battle against my face. it has not been an easy road, but thankfully, i have had minimal side effects.
minimal as in - i did struggle in the first few months with my face molting like a snake. make up was wasted - it peeled right off and i had to grease down with moisturizer. my lips - OMG. thank goodness for aquafor! my poor pout has peeled and peeled, and peeled some more. my aquafor - vaseline on steroids - has been an appendage to my body for the past 6 months. i have been more sensitive to the sun but it has not kept me in the house - hello, sunscreen. we're new friends. i have had a few knee aches but i'm not sure if that can be blamed on the accutane or my knees getting lazy and not wanting to run. and, i'm one of two known people to be prescribed accuatane in that office to have struggled with concentration and memory loss. not really memory loss, so much as i am super forgetful :)
and, i have conquered my fear of getting my blood drawn - kind of. one month - it took them 3o minutes to draw my blood, three nurses and some alligator tears on my part for them to get their little vial of my red goods. after that catastrophic visit - they made sure that the Queen Blood Taker was at my service every month. i was the problem child. so, what. deal with it, people.
in all, it has been very successful. i have never felt confident without make up on. in 15 years, i have not been able to wash my face without it hurting or bleeding. now, i'm using less and less make up and my face washing experience is a pleasant one!
now is the true test of my accutane adventures. i finished my 6 month "treatment" and took my last pills yesterday. i'm terrified that those old looming blemishes are going to rear their ugly heads and i have to do another round. my fingers are crossed that i am out with the old, and in with the new.
i am a huge accutane supporter. for anyone that has had trouble with acne, i would highly recommend you giving it a shot. it has done wonders for my face. other than the scars left from all those years (i call them battle scars), my face is clear and blemish free!
the proof is in the pictures: (view at your own risk - you are warned)
January - Month 1, week 1
didn't realize it was that bad? maybe i should go into make up artistry :)
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Month 1, week 4
apparently, it had to get worse before it got better. i cried after these pictures and didn't take anymore until Month #3.
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March - Month 3
by month 3 - it was starting to look better. but not as good as those s'mores!
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Month 6 - June!
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July - all done!
now that you know my deepest, darkest secret... keep your fingers crossed that we're in the clear! :)
1 comment:
Girl...you are brutiful regardless!!! It has come a long way- I'm glad you now feel as beautiful as you are :) Yay for clear skin!
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